Alright everyone…..I need your input & advice for a very common concern. How do we let someone’s hurtful and judgmental comments go? How do we mentally and physically move on without reacting? This is definitely not easy! In my opinion, I believe we all respond differently to people’s comments. In one of my previous blogs, I commented on how my son has such a difficult time with “putting the girl down”, whereas my daughter could give a crap what people think, say or do to her.
I know in my past I received a lot of hurtful comments particularly in middle school. Kids constantly made comments about my birthmark, which is on my chin. I was called red beard, scar face and many other names that were not so nice. Back then at that time in my life I was so not “accepting” of those comments nor did I find myself “putting the girl down”. All I could do was ignore them and laugh with them. It sucked and it hurt, however I know it made me stronger. Eventually I could laugh about it and say they really did not know or understand how hurtful their comments were. I forgave them years ago which allowed me a tremendous amount of freedom. I did not want to always relive those moments and feel yucky inside. What they said or what they thought back then about me was completely useless and I wish I did have the strength back then as I do now.
Does everyone have this ability to let go and move on? I believe we do, however our EGO’s are just getting in our way and saturating us with the yucky feelings that create the drama and the wanting to talk about it. We have a difficult time moving beyond our anger and this may take some time and serious practice. I do believe people can be mean. I do get it and understand it is hard to let it go, but I also understand finally, the freedom that forgiveness gives us and that to me is the most powerful lesson and reason to keep on practicing! The end result is nothing but bliss and feeling secure in your own skin. Nobody can take that away from you, EVER! So, if you want to be able to move on and become bulletproof, FORGIVE and just send those people that are hurtful to you, compassion.
Please do not think I am not saying your feelings and emotions do not matter. I am stating, you are in control of your reactions. When you are ready to not give a shit, then and only then will you be bulletproof. An individual that is hurtful or mean has underlying circumstances in their lives. They thrive off making other people feel like crap, because they, themselves have no self-esteem or confidence. Happiness unfortunately gets under some people’s skin and that is so sad and breaks my heart that some people would rather be angry.
I am looking forward to your responses of how you handle someone being unkind or judgmental to you or someone you love. These responses may help more than one person so please take the time and share. Peace!
Interesting enough topic...something I have struggled with for years.I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home and vowed that I would not repeat the cycle with my own kids. Especially with my twin daughters who are now in the throws of middle school mayhem. I find that at 13 they are so easily impacted by everyone's thoughts and judgements around them that even their own perceptions are such a warped reality for them. My goal is to try to make them compassionate and give them the ability to recognize their own feelings for what they are. I believe if they can recognize their own feelings it will help them to understand were others judgements come from and decide if they are an accurate perception. So with that being said...I have my daughters keep a journal a couple times a week where they need to list three things that they are proud of on that specific day and one thing they wish they could do over. It gives me an opportunity to talk with them about how they feel and where that feeling comes from.I would like to say we could do this everyday but my time like everyone elses is split in so many different directions. The simple act of doing this hopefully is somewhere in the back of their mind saying is this something I will be proud of or is it a do over. They are beginning to understand that they can't control what people say but it helps them to try to figure out the why.
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