I feel like this topic seems to always be in my heart and head. Some of this may sound repetitive but for some reason it came out on paper with my pen, so please read it and utilize it! How often does someone say something to you which may be hurtful, mean about you or someone else? You then automatically create an inner reaction. Your brain is repeating this negative comment over and over again. You keep processing it which is creating such a strong reaction. Before you know it you are pissed beyond belief and cannot even look at that individual. I think a lot of us, including myself deal this way with negative comments in our life. Whether it was my friends, parents, spouse or someone else close to me I always closed up and pouted after someone’s unnecessary comments. Whenever I received a hurtful statement from my dad and I reacted with pouting he would get angry and say I could not take his “constructive criticism”. I actually did not call it that; I referred to it as being an asshole. Since then I now understand my journey a bit better and have learned to turn off my reactive calling people asshole switch. Finally in my thirties I learned to not react.
I am now enjoying moments when people have not such nice things go say. Moments like these serve as great practice and teaches me how to be non-reactive. “Calmness is the cradle of power.” (Josiah Gilbert Holland) What a brilliant quote, but so hard for over 90% of us to incorporate. Try this practice! Tomorrow when you wake up create a great morning for yourself. If your kids and spouse get cranky in the morning and are anticipating a reaction from you, be calm, stay calm and eventually by remaining calm, a wonderful bit of peace and power will come over you. Now to the next part of your happy day, this may be at work or just simply dealing with adults. Correct me if I am wrong but the workplace usually consists of people complaining of a multitude topics. Topics such as the weather, their spouse, their job, their boss, other employees or other “major” issues. Be calm, stay calm and be nonreactive! Don’t let anyone stir up your inner peace that you have been working on so diligently throughout the day. What is really cool about this is practice is you will notice so many more things that we all react to. The lesson is critical and I am so grateful I have the opportunity to not only experience it but also share it with all of you.
I notice people usually like to complain about pretty much everything. I notice these people all have the same characteristics. The first being, they are unhappy second, they do not have peace, third they do not know how to “put the girl down,” and fourth forgiveness is usually not an option in their world. I simply want to hug them and squeeze all of their blahs out. Unfortunately, only they can make that happen. For such a long time when I had conversations with these people I always attempted a positive spin on their current “bitch” session. Sadly however most of the time they completely ignored my “hope for happy” comment and continued on………….
Let me just say this is the BEST practice I could get and it was always so nice to walk away and still send them positive energy and not react. A whole day is a long time to practice this! Take baby steps and try a half a day if needed. Just be aware and start noticing yourself wanting to react. Isn’t it empowering to understand that you are in control of yourself and no one else can or should be able to rock your world any way? Let me end with this from Eckhart Tolle, “To complain is always non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. Good night with that thought……………..Peace
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