Becoming "Unattached".....(it is not easy)

I am still working on this daily.  What do I mean when I say, “Become unattached?”  Well this is tricky and really with a lot of practice will get easier as time goes.  I will begin with an incident that happened to me 7 or 8 years ago. 

I was out and about one day and decided to stop at Dun kin Donuts drive through to get my hubby a coffee.  I was singing and dancing to my radio just minding my own business when I looked up at the car in front of me.  I was completely taken by surprise when I saw an empty cigarette box fly out the driver’s seat window and land on the ground.  I was so angry, and rage was coming out of every cell in my body!  If any of you really know me, you know that I hug trees, literally.  I did not know how to react to this calmly and obviously did not take much time to think of any outcome.

I immediately got out of my car, went to the cigarette box, picked it up and went to the driver and said, I think you dropped something,” and through it in the trash.  I then went back to my car and sat in it with adrenalin pumping through my veins.  Thank God this person did not jump out of their car and kick my ass. (I am a lover, not a fighter).  I felt however in this case I was right, and they were wrong.  The driver’s response was just a dumbfound look and no words were spoken.  Anyway, I got home and told my husband what happened and that powerful rush came over me each time I told that story.  What do we call that rush?  Yup, my EGO……

Now, how would I handle the same situation if it happened again?  Please keep an open mind, you may not agree.  I would wait until that person got their order and drove off.  I would then pick it up and dispose of it.  I am not here to make someone feel bad or try to “teach” them a lesson.  Back when this first happened I felt “almighty” in some way, like I was better than them and trying to make them feel like crap was my mission.  That is no value to them and I am certain they drove off that day feeling pissed off or embarrassed.

I would then go about my day and not feel any need whatsoever to discuss what happened at Dun kin Donuts with anyone.  Talking about it only adds fuel to the fire and gives everyone a “reaction”, right?  So how does the “unattachment” process happen?  If you look at my second scenario I just did what I felt was going to provide me with less stress and more joy.  I avoided conflict and at the same time picked up trash that I was fortunate enough to see happen and make a difference.  No one got hurt, freaked out and no asses were kicked.lol I also did not feel the need to talk about it which would  get my  EGO into overdrive thinking, “I am right, they are wrong”.

Unattaching is not easy and becoming aware of it was the first step for me.  A simple question I ask myself now when I see something I “disagree” with or have a dilemma?  “What would Gandhi do?”  You will see this is one of my favorite things to ask myself in my future writings.  It makes me stop and think.

Another example is when I see someone fly by me on the highway and they are texting.  I breathe, ask my famous Gandhi question, and just send that person love, safety for them and the people they are driving near.  It makes the anger disappear.    I know sometimes we also feel that our need to be right is so valid.  Well, try this.  When someone has an opinion and you think they are completely out of their mind, off their rocker or just wrong, STOP!  Do not speak a word, bite your tongue if you have to and let them be right.  No matter how crazy it seems, this “unattaching” yourself from thinking your right and that your opinion is more superior to theirs is not the route you want for happiness.  Let it go and move on, I dare you.  It is hard, it sucks, but it brings such joy and contentment when you don’t feel the need to be right all the time.

We are all here for this “human experience” and learning how to live in the present, letting go of the past, and not worrying about the future is a HUGE step.  Now unattach yourself and all will be well…..Peace