Friday, February 25, 2011

Put the Girl Down & Nobody Gets Hurt......really.......


There is a wise old Tibetan Monk tale that I share with a lot of people and seem to get wonderful reactions.  I hope you enjoy it as well.  Hundreds of years ago, there were two monks strolling thru the woods.  Now these two monks were taking the sacred vow of silence @ this time so obviously no speaking would be allowed in order to silence their minds.
On their journey they noticed a woman who needed to cross over a creek in order to get to where she needed to be.  The creek was a bit more rapid than usual.  When the monks approached the girl she asked if they could help her cross.  One monk without hesitation picked her up and carried the girl across the fast moving waters, then placed her down and wished her a wonderful day. 
The two monks continued on their path in silence.  The monk that did not carry the girl across the creek was full of anxious thoughts and felt angry that his friend destroyed his vow by not only picking up the girl, but also speaking to her as well.   Some time went by and finally the stressed monk stopped, turned around and said to his fellow monk, “Why oh why did you pick up that girl.  You have broken your vow of silence”.  The other monk said nothing for a few seconds, and then smiled.  He went on to say, “Dear friend, I placed her down some time ago.  Why are you still carrying her?”
WOW!  When I read this tale, which I got from Eckhart Tolle and “The New Earth”, dozens of thoughts came into my mind.  The first thought of course was, “Why can’t we let things go and just move on?  Why do we hold onto anger and rage for so long?  And, can you imagine what this doing to our health?”  I knew right away after I read this as a mother, I could definitely utilize this lesson and I do with my son, Rocco almost every day.
For some reason, some people have no problem whatsoever with moving on, while others blame the world for all of their problems.  Unfortunately, my eight year old is one of these people that blames and it is usually his eleven year old sister that brings his world down.  Now in defense of Avery, she really does not bring his world down; he just cannot “put the girl down”.  Rocco has always been my emotional and feeling child.  On the up, he is very careful never to hurt someone’s feelings and will go out of his way to make sure everyone’s happy and if there is someone who does not have someone to play with he goes right over and plays with this person even if it is a game that he may not enjoy.  If I get physically hurt or am upset, he is my little boyfriend and will run up with a panic face and ask, “Mommy are you alright?”
Those reasons may seem like good reasons, right?  I am not so sure sometimes.  Rocco is a people pleaser and really does not take time to think what he wants.  I know it seems nice and endearing, but when he grows up, I fear that people may take advantage of this “quality” he possesses.  Now on the down side of his emotional and feeling trait, he gets so angry @ times.  Rocco’s 11 year old sister, Avery is completely opposite.  She doesn’t give a crap what people think and once again, it has its ups and downs.  The major upside?  She always, always puts the girl down & moves on.  The smallest thing can offset my son and usually it is a minor incident with Avery that wrecks his day. 
I have told him this monk tale about 2 years ago when he was 6.  I know he gets the tale and I know he understands it.  He just cannot practice it.  Each time when crap hits the fan in my house, I stop and say, “Rocco put the girl down”.  I get a pissy, pouty face.  I know this lesson makes him think and I also know and respect he is on his own journey.  I cannot change the way he reacts or responds.  I can only put a positive spin on his situation and implement this lesson and our favorite law, the law of attraction.(yes, he gets that also).
Hopefully someday it will click, he will smile and all will be well in his world.  In the meantime I will love him if he puts the girl down or is still carrying her.  I hope you will all take the time and promote this lesson with the one’s you love.  Good luck & let me know if your lesson is productive…..Some days it is and some days, not so much.  Never give up!
Peace

2 comments:

  1. I have come to realize that some people get something from not putting down the girl and carrying her far too long. Maybe negative attention is better than no attention for some.

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  2. I remember the day you shared that story with me. I have recently told it to Trevor. I thank you for that.

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