What are your thoughts?

I really want to take this moment and thank all of you for taking time out of your hectic lives and reading my blogs.  I have to say that Face Book has been such an intricate part in my blogging process.  It has enabled me to get all of these writings out to you and share some very intimate parts of my life as well as learning about some of your lives.  I want to highly recommend Face Book if you have a passion that you have always wanted to share with others.  Writing has always been such a therapeutic part in my life.  From journal writing about boys to writing multiple page letters begging my mom to quit smoking has played an important role in this human experience.  Luckily when I have a thought and my pen hits the paper I just go sometimes for an hour or so.

Tonight I have really been thinking of writing and how easy it comes to me.  I have always felt writing would never leave my life.  I wake up with ideas, go to sleep with ideas and throughout the day I am always jotting things down.   Writing saturates every cell in my body and I know with this passion  all things from here on will be blissful, joyful and never dull.  So, why am I writing all of this down?  Well, have you ever heard of the Law of Attraction?  Pretty much, whatever thoughts you send out to the universe good or bad they will come back into your life.  Is this law mystical?  Is this law powerful?  Is this law hogwash? 

Let me just go over a couple of moments in my life where this law has played such a major role.  I believe that our mind is very powerful and so intriguing.  Back in the fall of 1988 when I was a senior in high school I still did not know what I wanted to do after I graduated.  Most of my friends were going to college or applying to colleges.  I had an inkling of an idea that I wanted to go to college, but never felt forced (which I was grateful for). My parents never pressured me to go to college and were respectful of whatever my decision would be with college, religion or anything else that was my journey and not theirs.  So finally by the spring of 1989 I announced to them I wanted to go to college.  I was excited, and I felt like I was on top of the world!  I pretty much got pushed off the “top of the world” with their next comment, “You better start saving your money because we cannot afford to pay the tuition.”  Maybe for about two to three minutes I felt defeated & would change my mind about that “college thing.”

In that moment, bells and whistles rang loudly in my ears.  I decided to take a year off and work full time as well as have a couple of part time jobs.  My mind was on college and ONLY College.  Every other weekend I would go visit Keene State just to keep my mind focused on what college life felt like.  This was critical in order for me to have the vibration and the “Yes I am already here” mode.  I would actually imagine the dorm room was mine that I was crashing in for the weekend.  Everything felt real and I continued this process until I literally had my own dorm room.  I paid and took loans out for the first 3 years of school.  Was it easy?  Hell no!  Did I cry and beg the financial aid office each year for money?  Yes, without failure and luckily they always had a box of tissues for me.

So my senior year of college was a bit more difficult with money but I never kept my eyes off the prize. Graduation and a degree never left my heart or mind.  Before my second semester, I was out of money and just got denied from the Financial aid office.  Apparently my breakdowns were not as effective as the previous three years.    So here I was, one semester left to graduate and completely broke.  I was on winter break, working 3 part time jobs and knew this would not be enough money to complete my senior year. The funny thing is there was no thought in my mind of me not graduating…..It would happen!  Mike and I were dating at the time and were working at a bingo hall together.  Well one memorable night we decided to actually play bingo.  So here we were playing bingo, not winning but having a good time.  I decided to buy some pull tickets that had a pretty significant bonus prize.  After I bought the ticket I sat on it for good luck….lol   the moment finally came and they called my ticket number!  By calling my number I won $200.  I then got to go for the bonus by picking a color.  If the color I picked revealed the word bonus I would win the prize of $1300!  I am freaking out at this moment and Mike keeps saying, “pick red, pick red.”  The next thing I knew I said “yellow”.  I don’t know why, I don’t even like yellow but some voice in my head, which now I know to always listen to that source said, “yellow.”  BAM!  I won the flipping bonus!  I was in tears, saying, "I can graduate!”

The best part of the story and always makes me say “nothing happens on accident,” was the amount of money I won was the exact amount of money I needed for my tuition.  That is not luck, or chance.  My part time jobs I had worked that month paid for my apartment rental for the rest of the semester.  Just writing all of this brings me back to the excitement, gratitude and joy I felt at the specific moment.  Now if I would have increased that 2-3 minute time frame of feeling defeated four years earlier, none of those things would have occurred and no degree would be in my hands.  All of this happened because of my thoughts and actions.  That is the law of attraction and yes it is mystical and powerful, and no it is not hogwash!

Another moment in my life where this law is creating powerful moments is right now.   My love and passion for writing eventually turned into my blog.  About 2 years ago I began writing a children s book and completed the story within a week.  The next one and a half years I pretty much became lazy until my blogging started.  My friend illustrated the book and now it is published.  My son’s librarian at the school wants a copy in his library, most of my daughter’s teachers want a copy and I get to read it tomorrow morning to my daughters reading class.  The law of attraction can occur as fast, as slow, as good things or yucky things.  This law knows nothing but what your thoughts and vibration are and it will give you exactly that! 

So start thinking, start dreaming and begin knowing and believing ANYTHING can happen if you allow it with your wonderful thoughts…….Peace…

Being Non-Reactive by Being Calm, Staying Calm & Creating your Inner Peace

I feel like this topic seems to always be in my heart and head.  Some of this may sound repetitive but for some reason it came out on paper with my pen, so please read it and utilize it!  How often does someone say something to you which may be hurtful, mean about you or someone else?  You then automatically create an inner reaction.  Your brain is repeating this negative comment over and over again.  You keep processing it which is creating such a strong reaction.  Before you know it you are pissed beyond belief and cannot even look at that individual.  I think a lot of us, including myself deal this way with negative comments in our life.  Whether it was my friends, parents, spouse or someone else close to me I always closed up and pouted after someone’s unnecessary comments.   Whenever I received a hurtful statement from my dad and I reacted with pouting he would get angry and say I could not take his “constructive criticism”.  I actually did not call it that; I referred to it as being an asshole.  Since then I now understand my journey a bit better and have learned to turn off my reactive calling people asshole switch.   Finally in my thirties I learned to not react. 

I am now enjoying moments when people have not such nice things go say. Moments like these serve as great practice and teaches me how to be non-reactive.  “Calmness is the cradle of power.” (Josiah Gilbert Holland)  What a brilliant quote, but so hard for over 90% of us to incorporate.  Try this practice!  Tomorrow when you wake up create a great morning for yourself.  If your kids and spouse get cranky in the morning and are anticipating a reaction from you, be calm, stay calm and eventually by remaining calm, a wonderful bit of peace and power will come over you.  Now to the next part of your happy day, this may be at work or just simply dealing with adults.  Correct me if I am wrong but the workplace usually consists of people complaining of a multitude topics.  Topics such as the weather, their spouse, their job, their boss, other employees or other “major” issues.    Be calm, stay calm and be nonreactive!  Don’t let anyone stir up your inner peace that you have been working on so diligently throughout the day.  What is really cool about this is practice is you will notice so many more things that we all react to.    The lesson is critical and I am so grateful I have the opportunity to not only experience it but also share it with all of you.

I notice people usually like to complain about pretty much everything.  I notice these people all have the same characteristics.  The first being, they are unhappy second, they do not have peace, third they do not know how to “put the girl down,” and fourth forgiveness is usually not an option in their world.  I simply want to hug them and squeeze all of their blahs out.  Unfortunately, only they can make that happen.  For such a long time when I had conversations with these people I always attempted a positive spin on their current “bitch” session.  Sadly however most of the time they completely ignored my “hope for happy” comment and continued on………….

Let me just say this is the BEST practice I could get and it was always so nice to walk away and still send them positive energy and not react.  A whole day is a long time to practice this!  Take baby steps and try a half a day if needed.  Just be aware and start noticing yourself wanting to react.  Isn’t it empowering to understand that you are in control of yourself and no one else can or should be able to rock your world any way?   Let me end with this from Eckhart Tolle, “To complain is always non-acceptance of what is.  It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge.  When you complain, you make yourself a victim.  Leave the situation or accept it.  All else is madness.  Good night with that thought……………..Peace

Who Needs our Help?

Now that warmer days are slowly happening on consecutive days, I find myself sitting on my deck more and overlooking my pond.  On my deck is where most of my thoughts come to me on what I should share in my writings.  In a previous blog I had written I had thrown out some questions to everyone that I ask myself daily.  What is my purpose?  Why am I here?  How can I help others?  I want to attempt the question,” How can I help others”, today.  The question intrigues me and I brainstorm throughout the days of what is it, I myself can personally do to help individuals and our community.  Sometimes I will see a show or hear a radio topic about what others are doing.  Each of their personal stories makes me smile and feel that there really is kindness outside of what the media reports on.

In one news story I heard years ago, a woman in San Francisco would buy and make winter gloves.  She would then deliver them to the homeless people on the streets.  How simple, yet how powerful and moving?  Another story I like to share with others is about a dear friend I have.  She would make a huge full course meal every Thursday and bring it to a Soup Kitchen to serve.  Sounds simple right?  At the time she was doing this she had 2 children under the age of five and one on the way.  How selfless and amazing this act was!  I did not know how she managed this task, but every Thursday like clockwork she made it happen.  (Another bonus; she is a fantastic cook).

I am still trying to figure out what type of service I can provide.  I do help women with health and fitness, which I am completely passionate about, however I know there, is something more I could be doing to help others.  I am still searching and would love to hear all of your thoughts, advice and opinions.  What is it you do or would like to do to help your community?  There are many people out there that need some type of assistance.  How can we provide?  Avery and I have been discussing this for about a year now and would love to include her friends.  I believe if children can start at a young age with philanthropy the world can only change for the better in the future.

In the near future my website will be up and ready to go!  It will incorporate all of these daily questions I have with all of the passions I already practice.  I want all of you to be the heart of this site.  Because of you and your wonderful feedback with my blogs we can only get better, help more, be peaceful and be aware!  Peace!

Lessons from Older Friends.....

Wow!  What a weekend.  The beautiful weather, the Red Sox, the Yankees, the indulging with food, drink and spending time with family and friends.  These events were all meaningful and fun, but not as meaningful as visiting a dear old friend.  My friend Ernie is in a nursing home and was our neighbor for several years.  I had only visited him and his wife one or two times when they first became residents in the home.  Since then Ethel his wife has passed away.  I always thought about visiting him and I always talked about visiting him.  I just never acted upon those thoughts or conversations. 

I remember as a child going to visit my grandmother each summer.    We were never truly close until I moved back to the east coast and moved into the same home as her.  We lived together for nine months and created a special bond between us.  I would come home after school and watch Days of Our Lives with her.  We laughed a lot, cried a lot and made lots of special memories.  After my parents and I moved out of their home and to NH, my grandmother went into a nursing home a couple of years later.  My mother and I would try and visit each Sunday.  These trips were never easy for me or her.  Watching someone you love age really sucks. 

I can still remember in my Driver’s Education class one day driving with my instructor.  We were driving by a nursing home and he sighed and stated,”That is the last place someone will ever live.”  Well that did not settle to well with me and knowing my grandmother was in one broke my heart.  He did not say it to upset me; he was simply stating the truth which I was unable to handle at that time.  So as the years went by with not visiting Ernie, I wonder if that was due to watching my grandmother literally getting weaker, older, and losing so many functions that I now take for granted.

Yesterday Mike, Avery, Rocco and I went to see Ernie.  As I was walking down the halls, memories came rushing through my heart and brain.  Seeing these wonderful nurses take care of their aging residents brought joy to my heart.  I then realized as a teenager seeing this same type of situation freaked me out.  So I then immediately thought about what my kids were thinking right now?  Were they taken back by seeing the aging process?  Were they uncomfortable?  These were the same prejudices I felt when I was young.  We are so conditioned to believe at a young age that nothing will change within our bodies and we are forever young on the inside and out.  I asked Rocco yesterday how he felt about it and he did say he felt uncomfortable in the nursing home.  I as well as many others can relate.  We found Ernie’s room and walked in.  There he was curled up in his bed, unrecognizable.  The Ernie I remembered years ago tending to a garden and walking into my house without notice was not this same man.

I woke him up and for the first few minutes he had no idea who we were.  Actually, why should he remember?  We never took the time to get in our car and drive the ten minutes to see him.  We were always too busy or when we had time, we just wanted to chill in our own house and relax.  I do forgive myself and will move on without any guilt.  Seeing him was such an eye opening lesson of how we are all human and deserve courteous and respectful human kindness.  Our next few moments, a light bulb clicked in Ernie’s mind and he remembered who we were.  I was completely wrong!  He was recognizable and still the same man we remembered.  He just became older and probably a hell of a lot wiser than I am or will ever be.  We spoke of Ethel and her passing that happened two years ago.  He told the story like it happened yesterday.  As he was telling it, he cried and I also had tears welling up in my eyes.  Right at that moment, my light bulb clicked and I knew I would be back to see him in a few short days.  I asked him what he liked and he replied, “Cheezits and Cheese Whiz”.  I am on it!  He showed us his paintings he did with watercolor and I suggested that he should frame them.

All we want in this world is to be loved and treated kindly.  All Ernie wants is someone to talk too.  I am so grateful that not only did Ernie come into my life, but he is still here for me to enjoy his company and crazy stories!  I am especially glad that he is my dear friend.  Never forget that we can learn many valuable lessons from someone who has been here longer than us.  I am not certain that I agree with what I stated earlier that aging sucks.  Aging may not be graceful or kind on the outside, but on the inside the stillness and simplistic gifts is gives is wonderful.  If we could only all be still and present like Ernie we would be healthier and happier.  We would also be, “having to always get somewhere or that always trying to be somewhere” mentality.

Please, be patient, be kind and be present for our older friends.  Hear the birds, smell the flowers and JUST BE!  Peace

How Do We Not Let Others Comments Get Us Down?

Alright everyone…..I need your input & advice for a very common concern.  How do we let someone’s hurtful and judgmental comments go?  How do we mentally and physically move on without reacting?  This is definitely not easy!  In my opinion, I believe we all respond differently to people’s comments.  In one of my previous blogs, I commented on how my son has such a difficult time with “putting the girl down”, whereas my daughter could give a crap what people think, say or do to her.

I know in my past I received a lot of hurtful comments particularly in middle school.  Kids constantly made comments about my birthmark, which is on my chin.  I was called red beard, scar face and many other names that were not so nice.  Back then at that time in my life I was so not “accepting” of those comments nor did I find myself “putting the girl down”.  All I could do was ignore them and laugh with them.  It sucked and it hurt, however I know it made me stronger.  Eventually I could laugh about it and say they really did not know or understand how hurtful their comments were.  I forgave them years ago which allowed me a tremendous amount of freedom.  I did not want to always relive those moments and feel yucky inside.  What they said or what they thought back then about me was completely useless and I wish I did have the strength back then as I do now.

Does everyone have this ability to let go and move on?  I believe we do, however our EGO’s are just getting in our way and saturating us with the yucky feelings that create the drama and the wanting to talk about it.  We have a difficult time moving beyond our anger and this may take some time and serious practice.  I do believe people can be mean.  I do get it and understand it is hard to let it go, but I also understand finally, the freedom that forgiveness gives us and that to me is the most powerful lesson and reason to keep on practicing!  The end result is nothing but bliss and feeling secure in your own skin.  Nobody can take that away from you, EVER!  So, if you want to be able to move on and become bulletproof, FORGIVE and just send those people that are hurtful to you, compassion.

Please do not think I am not saying your feelings and emotions do not matter.  I am stating, you are in control of your reactions.  When you are ready to not give a shit, then and only then will you be bulletproof.  An individual that is hurtful or mean has underlying circumstances in their lives.  They thrive off making other people feel like crap, because they, themselves have no self-esteem or confidence.  Happiness unfortunately gets under some people’s skin and that is so sad and breaks my heart that some people would rather be angry. 

I am looking forward to your responses of how you handle someone being unkind or judgmental to you or someone you love.  These responses may help more than one person so please take the time and share.  Peace!

Off the Top of my Head....

Good Morning!

I was sort of struggling this week on the next topic and finally said, “Screw it!”  I turned on my laptop and here I am typing.  I was listening to Wayne Dyer yesterday and he had stated that he does not even own a computer!  He simply sits, listens to his inner voices and just writes.  That sounded way to easy as well as intriguing.   I figured all of you would not mind being my “guinea pigs,” while I tried this type of technique as well.  So here I go! 

Why am I here?  What brought me to this time and what is my purpose?  Hmmm……why do I enjoy writing?  What can I do to help others?  Why are all of these questions coming to me right now?  Is this my inner self speaking?  It must be, so I will go with it.  Okay, let me start with the first question of why am I here. 

Apparently on September 26^th, 1971 God was ready for me to make another appearance into this world.  Why?  I certainly did not know at this point coming out 6lbs 14 oz that’s for sure.  My biological mother certainly wasn’t ready for this as well.  Eight short weeks later she gave me up for adoption.  It’s funny, thru out my life being adopted was never a big deal.  Some people however really found this either fascinating or ultimately sad.  I could never understand why.  People would always either say one of the two things.  “Are you ever going to look for her?” Or the other famous statement, “I’m sure she loved you very much, and you will certainly find her someday.”  I really did not think much about either of those statements.  At some point later on I did want to try and find her, but was not obsessed with the thought.  My biological mother gave up her rights on November 18^th 1971, on November 19^th the next day; the two most amazing people gave me the best gift ever, a purpose.  I know for certain this is one definite reason I am here.   My mother was unable to conceive so the next best option?  Adoption!  She got her chance of becoming a mom and thank goodness I got the chance for not only survival (thanks to my biological mother), but also a wonderful life experience.  Another reason I am here?  Well, eventually I wanted to find my biological mom to thank her for giving me a incredible chance with a loving family!  How I found her is a whole other story that I will share another time, but to keep it short, here is the ending of it.  I called her when I received her name after a 20 year search (told you it was long).  This is pretty much how it went; after 3 rings the woman that gave me life said “Hello”?

Every cell and piece of energy inside me tingled.  It was her voice!  I actually got to hear this woman’s voice and she was alive!  I snapped myself back into reality and said, “Is Sheila there”?  She stated, “This is her”.  From there I sounded like a stumbling fool, but who cares?  I went on to tell her that I had found some information that I wanted to share with her.  I told her I was born on September 26^th 1971 and she was my mother.  You really could have heard a cotton ball drop.  Nothing on the other end but silence.  So, I kept on rambling,  I said I know this is definitely a shock and I apologize for just spontaneously calling but I really wanted to contact you.  I still continued, “I would love to meet you but understand if it is not something you want. “ She slowly said, “No, No I do not want contact”.  Just like that!  It did hit me a bit hard, but being the determined being I am I told her that I respected that, however I do have something I need to tell you before we hang up.  I said it just like I had imagined I would for the past 38 years!  “I want to thank you so much for what you did.  You gave me the best life and I will always be grateful to you.  I really thought you may want to know that” She said, “I am happy to hear you had a good life, thank you”.   When we hung up, I was not done.  I wrote her a 4 page letter, put some pictures of my family and then my mom and dad wrote a letter as well which I enclosed.  Eventually after a couple of years we did have a wonderful meeting.  She pretty much knew when she had me she was giving me up for adoption.  She could not afford taking care of a child and would have been a single mom if she would have kept me.  I did not need any reason from her at any time in my life of why she could not have raised me.  That never mattered to me nor was it an issue for me while I was growing up.  After our meeting I could tell she was very relieved that we got the chance to unite.  We are now friends and do correspond through letters. 

I know there are many more reasons why I am here.  Each day we do things, meet people and try new things.  I am here for all of those reasons and a million more to come in the future!  I believe we are all connected and I am embracing each moment and making certain my vibration is always filled with happiness!  Remember, “True and lasting happiness will come into your life the day you get the clear realization that you can overcome any weakness.  The day you realize that your subconscious can solve your problems, heal your body, and prosper you beyond your fondest dreams.” Dr Joseph Murphy       So, BE HAPPY!

So, there is my story for the day, and I will hopefully get to the other questions at another time.  My favorite question?  What is my purpose? I am still trying to figure that one out. Peace…