Beliefs and How they are Ever Changing......

I am sitting outside with Mike on St. Patty’s Day eating dinner.  Our kids surprised us by setting up our little table for two overlooking our pond.  My son really wanted us to have a “special” night together.  The menu consisted of green chocolate chip cookies, cut up red peppers, strawberries, grapes, stew and of course our beer, nothing less than perfect.  At this moment I was not only filled with so much love for my family but I was also anticipating sitting alone with Mike and having one of our healthy debate sessions.  I have always welcomed these since our college days.  We sit, have a few drinks and completely unleash our beliefs, raise our voices, sometimes get fiery, other times laugh our asses off and finally agree to disagree while walking away still loving each other.

So, what is the topic for this blog?  I promise it is not mushy gushy love for my hubby or that yummy thoughtful dinner.  It is our belief systems and how we hold on so tight to them and then down the road they seem to change.  Now before I begin I wanted to look up the definition of beliefs and this is what I got:  Beliefs are assumed needs that we create in order to help understand the world.  There, with that said I have to admit and come clean that my beliefs have changed numerous times over the past 30 years or so.  I have been so passionate about certain beliefs and have gone on to defend them.  Mike and I debate this as well.  For some strange reason, his have not faltered very much.  Beliefs are fascinating to me as well as cause madness in my life.  I am going to discuss two topics where my beliefs have done a complete turnaround.  The first short quick topic, money and the longer more drawn out topic, religion.  I hope I do not offend anyone and please take my beliefs as mine and not yours.   Remember we all are here together but still have separate journeys, so please keep an open mind.  Remember it is your choice to read this or not and it is your choice to react or not.  With that said, let’s get to it. 

As young children, we seem to only believe what are parents believe in.  Don’t you agree?  My kids have plenty of friends and when I hear their thoughts and views on religion or politics it is exactly what their mom and dad’s views are as well.  This is a very natural behavior and that is pretty much all we know since we are surrounded by our parents during mealtimes, car rides and more.  We hear our parents yell at the TV or disagree with some talk show on the radio.  My parent’s views permeated thru my cells up until my teenage years. 

Growing up my parents and I would go out frequently for car rides in Montana where I grew up.  We would go through all neighborhoods to house look and what not.  When we approached the neighborhoods with the nicer and larger homes my parents seemed fascinated and in awe.  As a child I always imagined us living in that beautiful dream home and my dad having a huge garden and my mom just cleaning and decorating(yes, I told you she loves to clean).  As I was in my dreamy land and driving I could hear the ooo’s and awww’s from the front seat.  Always, like clockwork when we would drive away from these neighborhoods, my dad would have this envious and yucky tone to his voice and say, “Must be nice”.  His tone and saying was engrained in me so I as well received the same attitude as him about money and people who had more money.  I had a crappy attitude and thought money was evil.  Do I blame him for this negative attitude about money and how it affected my beliefs? Not for a second.  Do I feel bad that he always had these thoughts and thought money was the root of all evil?  I feel very bad and I can understand why he had that attitude with growing up in an orphanage.  Now let me take my dad off the hook for a second and say that my mother’s attitude was not any better.  Even a couple of years ago we were sitting in a waiting room together and I was reading some happy articles and was telling her that I knew in my heart that prosperity and abundance were right around the corner for me.  She shook her head and gave that guilty tone, and said “you should never wish for money, it just was not right.”  I was going to try and start a debate but decided to bite my tongue and not go on.  She was too far into her belief system and nothing would change her attitude.  I think we need to see the good in all people and realize just because someone has more wealth than us doesn’t make them evil, mean or stingy.  A lot of wealthy people as well as not so wealthy people do so much good for our communities and foundations.  Let’s put down the “evil” thoughts and take care of our own journeys.   Let’s not judge and become envious of them but instead be happy for them.  Remember also, you don’t have to have a lot of money to help a cause.

So what is your belief system about money?  Do you think that too much causes havoc and evil?  I came across a great quote from Dr. Robert Anthony.  “If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.  Is that good news?”  Makes you think, doesn’t it?  I believe if we are financially struggling it cannot hurt to simply change the way we view money and circumstances.  Once again, find your passion and the rest will come.  Abundance and prosperity will follow closely behind.  I do hold this belief in my heart and do not foresee that one ever changing.

Alright, let me put on my helmet and battle gear for my next topic, religion.  Let’s keep an open mind and remember we all have our own theories and thoughts on this subject.  This is Mike and I’s number one debate.  Since we have met we have looked at things slightly different, but we still respect each other’s views.

Growing up I was taught to believe in a God that would forgive us for our sins and grant us eternal peace.  I feel I was also taught to love this God as well as fear him.  Honestly as a child, the way my imagination grasped God was as “Pie in the Sky”.  I believed from my early Catholic years in hell and heaven.  I literally pictured this man with a long white gown and a flowing beard standing on a cloud with a line of eternal souls getting ready for their “judgment” moment.  This God would either let you into the Pearly White Gates or press a button in which the bottom of the cloud would open up and you went screaming down to this fiery pit into the ground.  Wouldn’t that scare the shit out of any kid?  My mom and dad got me as far as my first communion and then decided to let me go to different churches and see if I connected with any of them.  I frequented Lutheran, Mormon and Baptist churches and still felt petrified of the whole hell theory as with the Catholic Church.

I did decide at the age of 21 to confirm to Catholicism.  Why?  Well, Mike and I were dating, in love (sorry I promised I would not bring that mushy stuff up), and knew we would get married after I graduated from college.  So I needed to confirm to be married in a Catholic Church.  Did I do this for me?  Lol, not even a little.  Did I do this for Mike?  That is even funnier since he does not believe in ANY pie in the sky.  So who did I do this for?  Yup, you guessed it, our parents.  The kicker is we decided to not get married in a church (thank God)!    Our parents were not pleased at all and what pissed them off more was when we decided to have kids and not baptize them.  WOW!  I have never seen such anger in someone’s life.  This is a very good lesson here.  Make sure you do things for you, and only you.  Not your spouse, your parents or even your kids. I know it sounds harsh, but if we took the focus off of others and focused on only ourselves we would see way more people feel less guilty and happier with their journey!

Sorry, I got off track there for a moment.  Anyway when I saw how displeased our parents were, I knew right then and there I was done with any type of religion.  I could not and still cannot understand what type of God would not allow one of our babies (if they died) into his “kingdom”.  This is why our parents were upset and I was so taken back at how a religion could make people react like that.

So, what do I believe in now?  I am still not sure if belief is the correct term.  What I do know is that peace, love, and happiness make my heart smile.  I also know that practicing compassion, kindness and gratitude fills me with everything I need at that moment.  All of this has released drama and negativity and has provided more love and joy in my life.

When I do “pray” each night I talk with myself or my God, which I feel is my subconscious.  I think we all have this presence inside of us.  I feel that I decide or create my own path through my attitude, vibration and my ability to live in the present.  That is my “belief” in a nutshell.  I express nothing but gratitude each night before I close my eyes and each morning after I open them.  When I am done with this practice, I literally can feel my insides smile.  Please try this sometime and see how it makes you feel.

So as I mentioned earlier, this is my favorite topic to debate with Mike.  He does not nor ever has believed in any type God.   Does this make him a bad person?  Are you kidding me?  He avoids killing any animal on the road, does nothing but gives and has the biggest heart!  I find him fascinating and his thoughts or beliefs make me think deeply sometimes.  The only thing we agree on in this debate is we are all made out of energy and that is it.

I still look back at what my beliefs used to be.  I was the one who believed in the “pie in the sky” God for many, many years.  It is empowering and freeing to know that I am the one who decides how I will react or I what my day will be like.  Even if starts out as a crappy day I can change it with my thoughts.  That is nothing but POWERFUL!  Let me wind down a bit with this quote from Fred D. Van Ambugh that I found very comforting and helped me understand that it is very normal for all of us to go through many belief systems and always have them change.  “Things that I felt absolutely sure of but a few years ago, I do not believe now.  This thought makes me see more clearly how foolish it would be to expect all men to agree with me.”

To conclude with my religion topic, I found another beautiful quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer that I would like to share.  “Heaven on earth is a choice you must make, not a place we must find”.  Once again this talks about our attitudes and how amazing it is to always have a great attitude!  This can set you free of any BLAH feelings.  Stop searching for happiness!   Stop, breathe, and listen to your own source.  Change your thoughts and try that gratitude practice I do each day.  By doing these things you will find heaven right here in front of you!  Demonstrate compassion and kindness!  I guarantee your heaven will feel like you imagined it when you were a child, peaceful, blissful and filled with love.  Even debating with Mike that night, no matter how heated it got, I still felt heaven all around me.  Peace